It’s been cold, really, really cold.   The longest cold spell in over 20 years.  This deep long cold has shut me down.  All I’ve wanted to do is curl up on the couch under a blanket or park myself in front of the fireplace.   I’ve slipped into hibernation and everything about me has slowed down, especially my brain.  It does not want to think.

Here we go… one, two, three – creative thoughts from my brain are forming and working their way out into a fabulous story…nothing, nothing is happening.  I have no thoughts, no ideas.  Should I be concerned?  Wait, I feel something.  This could be it.  Nope, it’s just nausea, and I feel warm.  Great now I’m sick and going to vomit.   I bet it won’t be the nice easy up and out vomit but the retching, sweating, my hair went in the toilet, grunting like a beast, rip the toilet loose, best abs workout ever vomit.

Now I’m stuck in a vortex of negativity and no motivation – holly sh_t what’s next? 

Can I blame the cold?  Maybe my brain actually froze?  When I knock on my head it doesn’t sound totally hollow.  Well, it does if I open my mouth while I knock but that’s normal, right?    As I sit at the keyboard I feel like I’m 5 years old being dragged through the grocery store by my Mom while she shops, and shops and ignores my cries that we have enough and should go.  To avoid a trip down another isle I recall I’d firmly plant my Spiderman shoes and hold my ground.  Apparently, even the sticky grips of my superhero shoes were no match for my Mom on a mission to finish her list.  The truth is she didn’t want to be there either.  She simply sucked it up and got it done!  

So here I sit just like the grocery store fighting every step.  Curse you grocery isles!   Given my Mom is nowhere near to pull me along I must do this myself or look for the next available strong woman (I’m slightly bigger now and have better shoes) to help pull me along.   Then again I’m not wearing shoes, in fact, I’m barely dressed at all.  Getting dressed felt like work so I passed on that as well.  Wow! It’s worse than I thought.  What the heck am I doing?  Knocking on my head, flashbacks to my childhood, strange brawny women pulling my nearly naked body around the house and toilet crunch ab workouts.  That’s a lot of useless crazy thoughts.  Then again maybe there’s a nugget in there if I just stick it out.   Suzanne Somers somehow sold millions of whacky springs for toned inner thighs.  Where the heck did that idea come from?  Maybe a toilet workout has promise.  Crazy?  Maybe, maybe not.   Curse you cold brain!